Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm sorry you have to hurt

This writer guy, he says that it's easy.
 You just sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.
But what if you're running out of veins?

Sometimes people suck. Not all the time. For the most part I think people try to be good people and love, and give, and hope and dream without hurting others. But sometimes they don't.
Sometimes poeple hurt other people. Sometimes they take words or actions and sharpen them, grinding them down to a glistening, glinting, angry point that slides straight through your heart, leaving the splintering wood of the handle to callus and corrupt the place where you once dared to hope there was love in the world. Sometimes they create excruciating, unnessary pain and confusion. Sometimes they do this without even realising it.
Sometimes - and we are all at fault in this to some degree - sometimes people take something they've learnt, or know or simply believe, and hold it so much higher than anything else. Sometimes it gets in the way of their view of everything else possible, or plausible, or real. When everything else is shrouded by this overarching 'thing' they hold so impossibly high, there's no hope at all for them to care a thought for the damage they might do by whispering a half-formed thought filled with ignorance and spite. And that's when their poisonous barb jabs deep thorn into the soft skin of some other someone, who's done and knows nothing of the so-called crime they've commited.
Sometimes, in believing too hard or protecting too strongly, people become exactly that evil which they are trying to guard against.
And then what?
Someone else suffers the consequences of their blind accusations and angry assumptions. 
And for what? 
So they can feel self-righteous in the belief that they've been stronger through the storm than the petty mortals surrounding them.

Sometimes my strength of faith in people is shattered by blind negligence, and the inevitable destruction it spreads because of the thoughtless actions of a person (or persons).
Sometimes I think faith in the good of others is something akin to trusting in my ability to write. Both require the decanting of some deeper part of you without knowing for sure what will be received in return. Both require the alltogether stupid belief that what you are giving is perfect enough to be not just accepted, but respected. Both risk utter destruction from the very moment of conception.  
So how many times do you tap another vein of faith and love for one's fellow man before you run dry? And how sullied or weakened is that love from all the times before?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Septapril?

when faces called flowers float out of the ground
and breathing is wishing and wishing is having-
but keeping is downward and doubting and never
-it's april(yes,april;my darling)it's spring!
yes the pretty birds frolic as spry as can fly
yes the little fish gambol as glad as can be
(yes the mountains are dancing together)

when every leaf opens without any sound
and wishing is having and having is giving-
but keeping is doting and nothing and nonsense
-alive;we're alive,dear:it's(kiss me now)spring!
now the pretty birds hover so she and so he
now the little fish quiver so you and so i
(now the mountains are dancing, the mountains)

when more than was lost has been found has been found
and having is giving and giving is living-
but keeping is darkness and winter and cringing
-it's spring(all our night becomes day)o,it's spring!
all the pretty birds dive to the heart of the sky
all the little fish climb through the mind of the sea
(all the mountains are dancing;are dancing)
E.E. Cummings

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Everything's apples

Do you have any words that just make you happy? You know, the kind of word that, every now and then, you'll just think of and smile, or you'll say and all of a sudden the sun is shining a bit better. My friend Wabi and I recently discovered a shared love for the word biscuit. Not only does it make you think of delicious treats, it just falls from the mouth in such a lovely manner, and looks ever so lovely on a page. Maybe it's a word nerd thing, or just my special style of crazy, but I've also got a thing for the word pumpkin. Then there's snickerdoodle, spanakopita, and foie gras.
Now before you say anything, no, it's not just a food-word thing. I also get a tad excited by the idea of defenestration, discombobulation, and borborygmi (although it's not very sexy). And how much fun are shenanigans?! Then there's my fondness for words in other languages. How much prettier is Lumiere than "light"? And tempo freddo sounds more like a jazzy treat than cold weather.
But my all time favourite word is simple: apple. In Indonesian it's apel, German is apfel, and even the completely different French pomme sounds delightful. Say it out loud in any of these forms and you get that reverberating hummm that's so satisfying in a word, and a mouth shaped a little like a kiss. In fact, a some-time model friend once told me they use the saying "black apples" to get that purfect sexy pout. Then there's memory formed from that scrumptious word! The juicy crunch as you bite into one, the slurp of juice from your chin, the sweet, fresh smell that tickles at your nose. I love eating them, cooking with them and bathing in gels that smell like them as well.
And now I have a new apple love. It's called Shabby Apple - yep, this was just a round-about way of introducing my new fave store. But it's totally worth it! Let's see...there's the sweet stuff for the little ones:

The juicy tips and tricks for making your pear-shape pervalicious, as well as a blog. And of course, crisp new styles in forgiving and flattering cuts for all us ladies desperately seeking ways to hide our not-so-sexy bits:

Oh, and did I mention that each item of clothing comes with it's own story? Fashion and Fiction all at once - it's too perfect! Plus the Shabby Apple girls, Emily and CK, are all about creating wearable clothing for girls of all shapes and sizes (hurrah!), while also supporting the empowerment of women everywhere (double hurrah!). AND they ship internationally (can we just give them the Nobel Prize for Fashion Fabulousness already?)!
Check 'em out, promise you won't be dissapointed.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Maggie and milly and molly and may

Maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea
 
 
Without a heartbeat of a lie, I would marry any man who presented me with a book of E.E.Cummings poems.
 
 
*Poem lifted from Poets.org

Powerlessness

It's been quite the gap in between ramblings hasn't it? There's not been any exceptional excuse for my truency, I've simply not really been in the mood and that tends to make for fairly bad, usually rather sooky writing. Last night I was in the mood, but last night had other plans for me.
Last night we lost power. There was a pop and then darkness. And then came the absurdity of finding a key for the power box, discovering we didn't really know all that much about powerboards, and trying to get in touch with our landlord through his rather unfriendly mother-in-law. There were calls to the power company to be told the call-out would be free, unless of course it was just a switch issue - then it would cost us $300 for their trouble. And there was eventual contact with the landlord who promised an appearance within a half-hour or so.
In between all these little adventures was the constant grumbling of our hungry bellies as we mourned what was to be dinner - potato soup, and herb & cheese bread. And with no end to the darkness in sight we sat down to cold mashed potato with steamed vegetables and avocado (with no "d"). Another call to the power company, two visits by the landlord, and an hour-long game of oven-on-oven-off with the on-call electricians, and we headed to bed with power restored and the promise of a new line of wiring to replace the decrepit and illegal hook-up we have currently.
The truck has been outside all morning, beeping and crunching and hopefully fixing our wires, which gives me some hope that tonight may involve a little less darkness. Meanwhile, here's something I've been meaning to post for a while:


These fantastic cards are courtesy of Crankbunny's Etsy store. She also does some amazing paper puppets, and a pair of magical Zizzors that give you magical crafting abilities. Seriously thinking of buying a pair.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Words in the winter wind

Two men I have loved all my adult life are two men I will never meet.
The first of these is a love I learnt of from my first real love. He sent me a poem which made me both cry and smile and which, even now, after hundrends (if not thousands) of reads, I still discover anew each time:

Anyone Lived in a Pretty How Town
(E. E. Cummings)
anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did


Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain


children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more


when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her


someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream


stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)


one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was


all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.


Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

The second is a man I discovered accidentally, flipping idly through a library book in a thirteen-year-old angsty haze. He was simple and yet profound. The way we often forget life is:

 Winter Trees
 (William Carlos Williams)
All the complicated details
of the attiring and
the disattiring are completed!
A liquid moon
moves gently among
the long branches.
Thus having prepared their buds
against a sure winter
the wise trees
stand sleeping in the cold.




The Red Wheelbarrow
(William Carlos Williams)
so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

*Poems courtesy of FamousPoetsandPoems.com

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Writing things down

I applied for a job this morning with both excitement and trepidation. A friend of mine told me she'd put in a good word for me with her superiors if I applied for the position, add to that the horrendous amount of skills I have and I think I've got a rather good shot. The problem: it's as Assistant Manager in a retail store and I'm incredibly sick of convincing people to buy things they just don't need. I'll save my consumerism rant for another time but, suffice to say, after ten years in retail I know how much mark up is on products and I also know the shiny leather Gucci bag isn't really $2000 of better quality than the shiny leather unknown-brand bag. 
There are countless other reasons I'd rather not go back into retail - standing on your feet all day, working every public holiday, nasty customers, the threat of being stuck in retail forever! Yes, that last point is the one that scares me the most, why do you ask? But when it comes down to it, I'm also excited at the possibilities retail offers me. It means I have a job, but it also means I can move back to Brisbane, have a purpose in my days and save some money. And the money is the most important, because with that I can afford to go back to study, travel, and maybe...just maybe create my own little business on the side. 
Besides, the company I'd be working for, kikki.K, is one of my all time favourites. Just look at the cuteness they sell:

Oh and of course, it's not all about cute, they do sophistication:

and style as well:

Now all I have to do is get the job. Cross your fingers for me.   

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Getting Lost

I've been feeling out of sorts for a while. Not really sad, but far from happy. Almost numb. It's as though my feelings have taken a wrong turn and got lost on their way to Emotion Central.
When I feel like this I often realise it's because I've not been doing the things my soul needs. One of these (and the reason I've started this blog) is writing. Writing unscrambles my thoughts and allows all the little halfling ideas in my head to make sense of themselves. It allows me to separate the tangles in my mind and file things in some kind of ordered chaos. It helps me breathe.
My soul craves water. Not to drink, although liquid refreshment is very important. Water soothes me. It is the element that makes me feel the most at home. Swimming in it, gazing at it, or simply smelling it as it splots onto the dusty earth after another scorching day. In all its forms I live for it. Sadly water has also been lacking in my life of late, leaving me restless and constantly on edge.
My soul pines for words. To read allows me an escape from life. It allows me to lose myself in another world. A world where things may even be worse rather than better, but are, most importantly, different. When I find myself feeling the most lost I turn inevitably to books, all sorts of books: fiction, non-fiction, drama, comedy, travel, history, even (and not just becuase I'm desperate) text books. Somehow by getting lost I manage to find myself again.
This is how I'd like to find myself right now:




 Arabesques by Richard Desaix




The compete works of E.E.Cummings


"To me the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the music the words make."
Truman Capote